Helping Others helps ME!

Today I want to drill down on my motivation in “helping others.”  I’ve been thinking about this one for the last few days.  Let’s see:

1)     When I help others, it makes me feel like I am doing the “right” thing.

2)     When I help others, I feel like I am giving back, knowing that without people helping me along my journey, I may not be here today….blogging about helping others.

3)     Helping others keeps me grounded and humbled.

4)     I feel a great sense of personal reward when I encourage smiles.  (Smiles are so contagious and I believe wholeheartedly that we can change someone’s life with a smile…….)

5)     Helping others helps me help myself.  It takes the direct focus off of ME yet it broadens my horizons…..adding depth to who I am as an individual. 

6)     Helping others makes me feel wanted and needed.

7)     Helping others helps me KNOW that I CAN make a difference. 

After much thought, I know that helping others motivates drives and fuels me because it makes me feel good about the person I am ….  Who I strive to be.  It really does help me!!   It’s yet another item on the list that makes me happy and keeps me going strong and positive!

Are you drilling down???   

Dreaming BIG!!!

Hummm…. My next drill down is around my motivation in “Dreaming BIG!”

Let’s see….

1)     When I open my mind to all the wonderful possibilities out there in this big ole world, it’s exciting!

2)     I enjoy taking my dreams and creating goals, both short term and long term!

3)     It’s exciting for me to think outside my box and reach for things no matter how insane they may seem to others.

4)     I enjoy the mental stimulation Dreaming BIG gives me!

5)     When I don’t allow barriers when I dream, I have none to get past in order to accomplish whatever I set out to do!

6)     When I Dream BIG, I feel invincible…. I am in DO IT mode and my creative juices flow at top speed.  (Just ask my family and friends!!! They probably get tired of my racing mind……… haha )

In taking a closer look at the hows and whys Dreaming Big motivates, drives and fuels me…. I know now that it gives me an internal BOOST …. It energizes me!  It pushes me beyond the norm and makes me feel on top of the world!  These things make me feel like I can do anything, thus giving me the rush of adrenaline to succeed in anything I set out to do.  

Ta-daaaa!!!  Yet another thing that keeps me positive and happy!   

WOW!  Another great day of thinking!!  Let’s continue….

Researching Things

From my list, I chose “researching things” for my first drill down.  I had to ask myself why researching motivates me.   Of course, this took a lot of thought and that’s why I am posting so late today.  Really, taking a closer look at how or why something motivates and fuels us isn’t always easy..... we have to dig deep.  Here are the things I came up with.

1)     When I am researching something, I am looking for an answer.  The part that motivates me is “finding the answer.” 

2)    It’s not the work involved in the research that motivates me.  It’s getting to the answer that does the trick.

3)    For me, it’s exciting to get to the bottom of something, prove a point, find a solution and be able to “know” the answer without doubt.

4)    Getting to the answer through research builds my self confidence. 

5)    It makes me more knowledgeable and more credible in my statements. 

6)    It allows me to have conversations on many different levels, building my self esteem in many areas. 

7)    Getting to the answer makes me feel important. 

8)    It makes me feel smart. 

When I look at the hows and whys…. they tell me that I feel better about myself when I am able to research to the end result of finding the answer.  Hummm…. When I feel better about myself, I am a better person….a more productive person.....a happier person.   

WOW! That was great!!!!  Let’s look at another item on the list….   

Are you digging??

Have you been thinking hard??  Don't worry!  It takes a little time to drill down to the hows and whys of your motivations.  Just take one thing at a time from your list and think about what specifically motivates and fuels you about that one thing!  Trust me!  It's worth the work! 

I think you will be amazed at what you discover about yourself when you take the time to get to the root of your motivations........... We start taking a closer look at things on the list tomorrow...... 

Let's Dig Deeper....

Were you able to answer the question?  Did you come up with more than one thing that motivates you…. drives you….. fuels you???  I have several answers to that question!  Let’s see:

1)    Passionate things like love, art, music

2)    Planning things

3)    Researching things

4)    Helping others

5)    Dreaming BIG

6)    Writing

All these things fuel me in some way!!! Okay!  Let’s dig deeper…...hummm ……. . Why do they fuel me?  What specifically makes them fuel me?  Let’s think about this… together….

What Fuels You?

What excites you?  What drives you? Is it looking forward to someone you love coming home to you?  Is it your child getting an “A” on a test he or she has been studying for?  Is it the end of a challenging situation that you have found resolution to? Is it planning a long much deserved vacation?  Is it appreciation shown to you for a job well done at work?  What is it?  What motivates YOU?

When you can answer this question …. You have found your fuel!  When you find what fuels you, you know how to set the stage for your happy!  Remember…. YOU are in control of YOUR happy! Make sense?    

Challenges Build Our Stories

You know…. the challenges we face in our everyday busy lives aren’t really what matter in the end.  It’s the way we handle those challenges that ultimately matters.  Do we get all stressed out, using every ounce of energy we have, to deflect and complain OR do we attack them head on with zest and enthusiasm??   

Tell me…. are you laughing about all the crazy things that happened five years ago…..?  When you think about your challenges of the past, do you feel like you learned something?  Have you grown?  If you said yes…. Guess what!  You will be doing the same thing five years from NOW…. You will be sitting around with your friends and family saying, “Remember when……..”  laughing about it…perhaps sharing tears… bonding with others. 

So, don’t use all your energy worrying about the challenges you face…. Use your energy taking care of them and pushing forward.  It’s not always easy…………but remember, challenges are only opportunities for growth and you will be telling those great stories you've built years from now……..

When our world turns upside down, we find strength in action and comfort in our stories.  Think about it…... 

Nope! Not me!!

WOW!  Travel took me away from my blog for the last couple of days!   But…. I’m backkkk……. Whooohoooo!!!!!   

Ever been told you are silly?…..that you act like a child?   Has someone told you that you need to grow up?  People think that about me all the time!  I love to laugh and play and be silly and have fun!!!  It does not mean I don’t work HARD because believe me! I do…………….. but ….guess what!  I don’t want to grow up!!    I love not growing up! 

Think about it!  What do we love about children??  They are fun!  They are energetic!  They don’t take things too seriously! They play!  They enjoy life!

Ummmm….. Isn’t that what we’ve been discussing here?  It’s one of the greatest things on earth…… ENTHUSIASM!!!  It doesn’t cost a dime and it’s so very valuable!!!   When people “grow up” they tend to forget how to get excited over the “little things” ….. you know the way children do when you say “Hey…. Let’s go feed the ducks!” (My son loved hearing me ask that question so many years ago……)  Or, at Christmas time …. When they CANNOT WAIT for Santa to come!!!   I stillll CANNOT WAIT for Santa to come!!!!   I love the magic of Christmas.....it lights up the whole world!!!  (And, YESSS!!  I still believe in Santa! Don’t YOU???)  

Awwww…… that excitement and enthusiasm keeps us young, vibrant, full of life………and I LOVEEE it!!!!  Nope! I’m not growing up because I choose not to!  What about YOU??   

Finding the Calm

Today I am inspired to post a thought for ponder...

When its pouring rain and you can hardly see the road, have you ever noticed that calm you feel as you travel through an underpass.....that shelter from the rain just for a split second..... Just long enough for you to have that little break from the storm that encourages you to keep driving???  If you haven’t, I hope you will the next time it rains...... It’s quite powerful....

What shelters you from the storms you experience in life?  What calms you?  What gives you a split second of peace and encourages you to keep going?? 

Life is a Puzzle...

Ever since I can remember, I have always compared my life to a puzzle....... with  happiness being its heart.  I found a poem in my folder that I wrote when I was 16 and was reminded of where it started.  It’s been an incredible personal journey...... Revisiting............................

The Puzzle

I sat down

At my desk

Pieces all around

Trying to figure out the pattern

That would bring them together as one

All colors of the rainbow were lying there for me

To come to a solution and bring them to life, you see.

I picked up one and then another

Until they finally fit

Now, I am happy

But only for a bit

For you see, my creation is not nearly complete

I must go on until ALL the pieces meet

It’s screaming out to me,

I can hear it quite well

“Put me together” it yells

I’m almost finished now

Only three more pieces to go

Here’s one and then another

Oh no!  No more!  It’s gone!

The heart of my creation is lost, nowhere near

It can’t live without a heart, I fear

It’s speaking to me …

I hear it quite well

I can’t stop my journey until my puzzle’s heart is found   

I bury my friend deep inside its box

Until another day when a heart can be sought

-Mary E. Dorsett

August 24, 1984

We Can’t Stop Until the Work is Done

After many, many hours of hard labor, my daughter was just exhausted.  She was on the verge of giving up, but she couldn’t….not yet.  The work wasn’t done.  She looked at me, breaking my heart, with her cries for me to help her.  I knew I had to say something to encourage her to keep on going even though she did not have a single ounce of energy left inside her.  Giving up was not an option. 
 

She lay in the hospital bed, suffering…. Not knowing how in the world she was going to get through this … I remember her looking at me with such distress…. waiting….expecting me to save her…….. ah! It was breaking my heart! 

I am not sure what came over me in that moment but in an instant I knew what to say.  I leaned over her and with a firm but caring tone, asking her to look at me.  She looked at me and said, in a trembling voice, “I can’t do this… I can’t!”  I said “You have to do this!  You have a job to do and you have to finish. You are this baby’s mother and your job starts now… right now. When the doctor says it’s time, I need you to dig deep and push as hard as you can.  You can do this!”  With tears running down her little face, she nodded at me, letting me know that she understood….

The doctor asked her if she was ready and she said she was, even after pushing more than an hour already……. Three pushes into it and our precious little miracle was born…. I looked at him as he was coming into the world so limp and then I watched him come to life….ahhh!!  It was the most beautiful…. the most precious thing…He lit up the room just like he does now, a year later,  with his bigger than life personality.   I looked at my daughter with such pride as tears were flowing and she said “I did it!” and I said “Yes, YOU did!!!”    

Words of encouragement help us to achieve things well beyond belief…..resulting in great moments.  Have you ever been encouraged to do something you never thought you could do?  Have you ever encouraged someone else? 

Through the Eyes of a 15 Year Old

Through the Eyes of a Child

Through the eyes of an adult,

I see much, too much, reality

But through the eyes of a child,

I see the world as it isn’t but as I would like it to be

I visualize candy canes and sand castles

Replacing heartache and misery

I see love instead of hatred

I see happiness instead of anger

I see laughter instead of tears

I see honesty instead of lies

I see understanding instead of sarcasm

I see light instead of darkness

I see good instead of evil

I see security instead of fear

Most of all, through the eyes of a child, I see compassion

This is something I cannot see as clearly through the eyes of an adult,

It is gradually fading into another world

And, can only be seen through the eyes of a child.

-Mary Dorsett

January 23, 1984

WOW!!  I am sooooo glad I am still looking at the world through the eyes of a child.... that's the light!

Through the Eyes of a Child

I am going to save the “moment” I had planned to blog about today for tomorrow …. I have been inspired and wanted to share it with you all !!!! 

I was talking with a very special person in my life just the other day and in so many words, he said “if we looked at things through the eyes of a child, they would be so different.”  I had a very emotional moment when I heard those words. He had no idea how he had inspired me in that moment….  

It brought back memories of all the poems I had written over 25 years ago…..  they have been boxed up for years and years………..waiting for me to be inspired by just those words perhaps…… and I am so very thankful!

I pulled out those poems this morning and guess what I am doing today!?  I am reading all about what I saw and how I felt all those years ago..... The really funny thing is….. I wrote a poem entitled “Through the Eyes of a Child”………that poem is in the folder…and I can’t wait to read it!!!  Isn’t it ironic how the things we say really do have such an impact on others.……  every moment really does matter………….Cease the moment and be happy in YOU today and every day of your life!!

Another moment tomorrow……    

They Really Do Matter!!!

I know….I know…. I keep saying “every moment matters”……… let me share a few moments with you and see what you think…….okay?

When my son was just a toddler, I would take him to a nearby pond to let him feed the ducks.  He always loved going there.  It was such a  “treat” for him.  While we were there, I would always take a few moments and coach him …………letting him know him that he could do anythinggggg in this world he set his mind to doing. 

Many years later, dropping my son off at the recruiter’s office was on my list for the day.  WOW!  I remember what a hard day that was for me.  My son was leaving home for basic training.  He had signed up for 6 years. It was the first time he had ever been away from home.  Remember how hard it was to drop your child off at daycare or school for the first time?  Remember how nervous they were?  Remember how hard it was knowing you wouldn't be right there with them if they "needed" you.....................?   Remember how scared you were for them….??  I was feeling all those those things and then some even though he was 18. 

I told him I needed to make one stop before I dropped him off.  It was a bit out of the way…..it required a little extra time.  He said “I can’t be late!”  I said “You won’t be!”

I took him back to that pond!  As we drove up to it, I looked at him and said “Do you remember this place?”  He grinned and said “This is where you used to take me to feed the ducks, isn’t it?  I said “Ah!  You remember? This is where I used to tell you that you could do anything you set your mind to doing!”  We looked at each other with teary eyes.  He nodded, letting me know that he knew he could. What a priceless moment in time….

We got to the recruiters office.  I hugged him and as hard as it was, let him go.  I cried all the way back to work….. he doesn’t even know that until now perhaps as he is reading this….

My son is now 23 years old, a Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force, stationed in Washington, D.C. and currently serving our country in Afghanistan.  He is strong in self.  He is vibrant.  And........he knows that he can do anything he sets his mind to doing, without a doubt. I am so very proud of him!

I truly believe every moment matters…..  let me share another….. 

Quantity vs Quality – Another Choice

So…. Tell me……. How many things did you check off your list???  How many things impacted others?  How many things did you do well?     

This was my next mission.  As I was making my list, I not only had to sort and prioritize by quantity.  I had to sort by quality. There is a big difference between going through the mail and teaching your child the value in being responsible.  Both are daily responsibilities with totally different relevance to the list. Make sense?  We have to allow adequate time to make sure we do the things on the list well. 

Seeing how many things we can check off the list is exciting!  Seeing how many things we can check off the list and feel really good about the quality involved in them is even better!!!

I had to learn to make my list with these things in mind. And, it is soooo easy to try to get through all the “easy” things that don’t really take a lot of time and energy and leave the more time consuming things until the end of your day ….. and then at the end of your day, we are less productive and just don’t want to put all the effort into them that is needed ….. 

I decided to put the things that demanded more quality minded effort at the top of my list!  This way I would get through those things and do them well when I was fresh first thing in the morning!  I saved the less time consuming things that I could knock out in no time for the end of the day.  This way, my quality was not affected….  Doing it right the first time saves so much time in the long run  …… don’t you think?? 

This can relate to everything in your life. Every moment matters….. the way we do things does matter….. Think about it….. you are in control of your list and you are in control of how you take care of the things on your list. It’s quite empowering really…..   

Ah! A List...

It’s a fantabulous morning here in Burlington, North Carolina!!!!  (YES! I am one of those dreaded morning people….. haha)   I hope you chose happy when you started YOUR day! 

….okay…. back to the story…..

Next on the list was prioritizing my time!  Ever felt so bogged down you couldn’t get anything done? That’s where I was.  I was spending all my time trying to figure out what to do first….. kids and work and family and friends…… being pulled and pulled and pulled…………...  It’s hard to have fun and enjoy life when you are constantly trying to figure out what to do first….and, of course, worried about how you are going to be able to get it ALL done without upsetting everyone in the world!   

So…. I became a list person!  I make a list for everything!  I draft a list and then I sort and prioritize it!  It feels great to check things off the list!!  Try it!  You might find it rewarding too!!  The really great thing about it is I didn’t even realize that my list gave me control of my time!  And, this is exactly what I needed in order to make time for ME!  It’s a great feeling when you have time for yourself but it’s even better when you make time for yourself and still get all the things done that are on your list!!

So, at this point, more than ever before, I realized “I” was responsible for “ME”…………. And I had to make changes in order to have the full life I craved.  Once the changes started occurring, I started evolving ….growing ……………and things started happening…..

Bye Bye Negative...

One of the first decisions I had to make was to get rid of the negative energy in my life!  I had to determine what in my life I was allowing to steal my sunshine!….. what was I enabling?  First I had to own it and then I had to act!

I decided to surround myself with positive influence! Remember when your parents told you to be careful who you were hanging around in high school? There was a reason!  I do believe the people we decide to share our lives with influence us even more than we realize.  If they are happy and positive, we will tend to mirror that and if they are negative and miserable, we will tend to go in that direction as well. Scary, huh?  I do believe it’s true… very true!!!

I decided to protect my space! When people approached me with negative chatter, it was up to me to say “STOP!”  It was up to me to put the brakes on the beginning of a bad day!  It was up to me to decide to be happy every day of my life!  It was all up to me! Once I realized that I was in control of my attitude and my happy, it was the most freeing feeling in the world.  You don’t feel the weight of negative energy when you don’t carry it!    

Now, don’t get me wrong…… bad things are going to happen!  Things will come up and interfere with your day!  The good news is………….we have two choices!!!   We can spend our time complaining and letting them drag us down OR we can spend our time figuring out the most positive way to deal with them and move on!  I choose the latter ….. because every moment matters…... it really does!!!          

People sometimes ask me if I am for real!  They ask me how I can be happy all the time. That’s easy (now)……………… I just say “because I choose to be!”   Did you choose happy today? 

 

Cleaning out the Closet

…..now where was I? (Ah! Getting there……)

We all have very busy lives! We seem to run in all different directions at all different speeds. Sound familiar?  Do we have any means of controlling outside influences?  Absolutely!!!  We are the keepers of our time. Sometimes, we forget that!  

Have you ever thought about how much time is spent with negative energy?  How much time you spend complaining about all the things you don’t have and can’t do?  I know I have been very guilty of this until I began to realize all that time I was wasting could be time spent celebrating all the great things in my life and doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do.

Do you spend lots of your time engaged in negative conversations and gossip?  How many times have you listened and participated for an hour but you didn’t have time to prepare for the next morning to prevent your rush hour stress ...........and to have time to read a blog as you drink your morning coffee???? 

When I began cleaning out my closet, I learned that my time is precious. Every moment matters and it’s up to me to decide how to use my moments.  We only get them once……. Think about it! 

I’ve been told by many people that I am so “full of life”……………..I guess that’s because I made room!  Making room involves a lot of hard decisions….

9/11

..........rather than continuing with my previous blog post, I feel compelled to write about something else today…….

This day, so many years ago, we were attacked by such evil people and we lost so many precious lives.  It was such a very sad day.  I remember…. I was living in Seattle and I had just arrived at work.  Everyone was gathered around the television.  I didn’t know what was going on and they said we were being attacked!!!!!!  It was the most confusing, lost and helpless feeling…… the overwhelming fear was something I had never felt before. I watched the news and just could not believe what I was seeing…….. I remember thinking how in the world could this be happening????     

All these years later…. I get to celebrate this day!!!  The Lord blessed my family with the most amazing gift ever on September 11, 2010.  My grandson was born!  Awww…. He is the most incredible joy and I am madly in love with him.  Of all the lives we lost on this date so many years ago, we got one BACK with him!!  His smile is contagious….he shines and he lights up the whole world when you are around him! He is an angel sent from God to bless us and for that I am so very thankful!

My daughter and I are taking him to see the ocean today!!! I can’t wait to see him smile…….

To all the families who lost love ones on that tragic day so long ago, my daughter, my grandson and I will be saying a special prayer for you and your families today……We will also be saying extra special prayers for my son, currently serving our country in Afghanistan……… God Bless you all……  

Stop and Look!

What a busy morning! I was up early to facilitate a continuing education class for my work while oozing with such great excitement to get back to my writing all at the same time…. Excitement fuels action….. don’t you think???

…… so, where was I?  Ah!  This is what I did….. (well… this is where I started……. )

I stopped and looked at myself!  I took the time to figure out what I needed to do in order to be happy and to live my life to the fullest……I had felt bogged down with negative energy mainly that I had allowed to enter my life.  Yes, I was culprit!!  I enabled stressors to control my time and limited myself in having the full and rich life we all deserve.  

Have you ever looked in the mirror and “owned” what you saw!  By that, I mean, have you ever taken the time to STOP and take a close look at who you are and if the person you see in the mirror is the person you want to be?  Well, that’s what I did. 

I realized that I was a person who spent way too much time trying to do everything for everyone and not enough time for myself. Have you ever felt that way??  I now know that in order for me to be the best mom, the best partner, the best friend and the best employee, I must be the best ME. I just had to figure out how to get there…..

.....the autumn air is so crisp this morning...... after days of heat and humidity.... it's so pleasant!  Did you notice?  

Now back to my story......

......as I was saying, the weeks following my best friends death were very difficult for me.  I tried everything to make sense of it all and nothing added up!  Then, out of the blue, one day...... I woke up and it hit me!  The positive I could find in her death was life! 

I thought and thought about all the things I had allowed to hold me back and keep me down ....................worry, stress - pure negative energy..........I was allowing these things to steal my happy and prevent me from really enjoying my life to the fullest .......I finally realized that we only get one shot at this thing called life and I felt very refreshed and energized in that moment!!!  (Remember earlier in my blogs when I mentioned how critical every moment is.......?? )   With great passion and purpose, this is what I did.......

Trying to Find the Light in the Darkness...

Finding the positive thing in everything is very difficult at times but I am here to tell you, there is a positive in there somewhere.  I remember just over six years ago, I lost one of the most precious people in the whole world to me.  I lost the person who knew everything about me and loved me anyway, my confidant….. my very best friend.  She was tragically killed in an automobile accident, just hours after I had spoken to her on the phone.  She was there one day and gone the next…. Ripped away from this life with no warning….. no apparent cause.  It literally broke my heart into a million pieces and I continue to miss her every day of my life. 

For weeks after she died, I wondered why in the world this happen??  How could this happen?  I felt so lost…. so confused.  She was such a great person........and I'm not just saying that!  She really was!!!   It left me in a frenzy…. ..... a whirlwind of emotion ......just trying to find the light in the darkness…

Onward......

I guess the blogs to come have been evolving in my head since eleventh grade in high school and who knows, maybe even before then.  I suppose I was just waiting to live the chapters.  I would like to thank all the people who have touched my life, who have loved me, who have hurt me, who have encouraged me and who have thought I would never do this.  To all of them, I give great thanks.  They have helped me unknowingly get to this point…. 

Life is a journey. Isn’t that what all the great philosophers’ say?  Well, guess what! They're right! The journey is not always easy and quite honestly it can be extremely difficult at times.  It has good times and bad times AND it has the most important times in our lives.  It's the blueprint for who we are as individuals.  Have you ever stopped and thought about how critical every moment is?  Think about it....... if one moment in time was different ... would you be here reading this blog???  What would you be doing?  How would you be feeling? 

In these blogs, I hope one word, one phrase or one thought may touch you in some way and give you strength to go on when you are having your hardest day, to smile when that special someone says you are the sunshine coming through the kitchen window, to feel the toughest emotion when you need to and never, ever let your heart deaden or die.

I hope these words.... stories.... feelings will inspire you, encourage you and help you to realize that you can do anything you want to do in this life as long as you believe in yourself, surround yourself with good people and keep a postive outlook no matter what storm tries to roll in and take your happy!  That’s right!  You can do anything!  And, today's the day!!  It's your day!!  Let's get started!!!  :-)

Today's the Day!!!!!

For so many years my mind has been overflowing with all these grand ideas of what I want to do with my life............... what can I do to help others???  …………. I just want to contribute and make a difference ........................ to encourage and to inspire!   It’s my passion!  It ignites me!!  The problem I faced was my recently determined weakness………. I have been so wrapped up in all the ideas of things I want to do……….…. I wasn’t actually doing any one thing to get started!  Light bulb!!!!! 

Just moments ago, my younger brother and I were talking about this very thing and he said, “Create a blog and start writing!”  Thanks Jeff!!!!  J

So….. here I am… blogging because today’s the day!!!  At last…….. I am starting here!